|
|
Friday, May 12th, 2006
| |
1:47 am
|
Dear Diary,
It is so quiet. Mr. Snape is up to something. Mrs. Snape has gone to Europe. Research for her work with the vampires or sanguivores as she calls them.
I want to go to the nexus. I will once I've thought of a question. I've had no word from Ramon in so long.
Perhaps I should have just gone on. I do not think they need me here any longer.
Your faithful,
Madeline.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, February 9th, 2006
| |
9:51 am
|
</i>Nothing But Death
There are cemeteries that are lonely,
graves full of bones that do not make a sound,
the heart moving through a tunnel,
in it darkness, darkness, darkness,
like a shipwreck we die going into ourselves,
as though we were drowning inside our hearts,
as though we lived falling out of the skin into the soul.
And there are corpses,
feet made of cold and sticky clay,
death is inside the bones,
like a barking where there are no dogs,
coming out from bells somewhere, from graves somewhere,
growing in the damp air like tears of rain.
Sometimes I see alone
coffins under sail,
embarking with the pale dead, with women that have dead hair,
with bakers who are as white as angels,
and pensive young girls married to notary publics,
caskets sailing up the vertical river of the dead,
the river of dark purple,
moving upstream with sails filled out by the sound of death,
filled by the sound of death which is silence.
Death arrives among all that sound
like a shoe with no foot in it, like a suit with no man in it,
comes and knocks, using a ring with no stone in it, with no
finger in it,
comes and shouts with no mouth, with no tongue, with no
throat.
Nevertheless its steps can be heard
and its clothing makes a hushed sound, like a tree.
I'm not sure, I understand only a little, I can hardly see,
but it seems to me that its singing has the color of damp violets,
of violets that are at home in the earth,
because the face of death is green,
and the look death gives is green,
with the penetrating dampness of a violet leaf
and the somber color of embittered winter.
But death also goes through the world dressed as a broom,
lapping the floor, looking for dead bodies,
death is inside the broom,
the broom is the tongue of death looking for corpses,
it is the needle of death looking for thread.
Death is inside the folding cots:
it spends its life sleeping on the slow mattresses,
in the black blankets, and suddenly breathes out:
it blows out a mournful sound that swells the sheets,
and the beds go sailing toward a port
where death is waiting, dressed like an admiral.</i>
((Pablo Neruda))
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
| |
10:57 am - ((Let's all take a moment to savor the irony here.))
|
|
| Friday, January 13th, 2006
| |
9:02 am
|
It was very late, the small hours of the morning, but Madeline couldn't sleep. She tucked the doll she had been given by a kind cat under one arm, and crept out and to Nathaniel's room. She knew he wouldn't be in the bed, and the door wouldn't be locked, so she slipped in and closed it behind her. The door she did knock on lead to the closet.
He'd been in the closet a lot. Probably that new person. Who seemed nice if a little goofy. Young men, she thought with a derisive sniff. So irreverant and not at all like dear Ram-
...
Which returned her to her general doom. Holding the doll close, she knocked on Nathaniel's closet.
|
|
(19 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, January 12th, 2006
| |
4:34 pm
|
Dear Diary,
I am hiding in what seems to be some sort of surgery beyond Mr. Snape's office. Or Nadezhda's, or whoever wants to claim it. I don't think I shall go to lunch after all.
Oh, Diary I wish I were dead again now. There is entirely too much and I don't want any of it any more, I just want my death back.
He will laugh at me. No, that's not fair - he is too much of a gentleman for that, but he will be uncomfortable and not want to see me anymore, because I am just a silly useless stupid girl. I don't know how to love him like a grown-up, like his Anna did. And soon our hands will just pass through one another again.
I feel like such a fool.
-Madeline
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
| |
9:33 am
|
"El comité de bienvenida no podía ser menos que los osos, todos ellos estaban ahí: los osos panda, los osos pardos, los osos polares, los osos hormie...hormigueros; para abrazarlos, dejarse agarrar por las ore...orejitas, para que se recostaran en sus panzas gordotas y jugar el rato que quisieran con ellos."
Goodness, Spanish was hard. It was not so very different from Latin, but she hadn't had very much of that before she died, and besides trying to learn so much of it all at once was making her head spin. Madeline was very determined though. Surely once this honeymoon business was over they would begin work to get the estate back, and she needed to at the least not be hopeless before she was dead and couldn't learn any more. It was one thing to not know Spanish, it was another to know it very poorly, and she refused to be an embarassment. Dear Ramon was so in need of cheer, and she could do so little. This certainly wasn't very helpful to him, she knew, but it was something to do, and perhaps even if it was little it would be something.
"Unos empezaron a dar un recorrido en elefante por el nivel bajo, para ver las cosas que después podrían hacer, los elefantes estaban esperán...dolos sentados en fila india y, con ayuda de una escalera, subían tres en cada uno."
((By special request from Salazar'mun, if Hips is up for it! ;-)
|
|
(27 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
| |
11:10 am
|
The results of your analysis say:
You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a social person who likes to talk and meet others.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.
What does your handwriting say about YOU?
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, November 14th, 2005
| |
9:47 am
|
Dear Diary-
It has been ever-so-long since I wrote, for which I appologize. There is a great deal to do when you are alive, I'd forgotten, especially as you spend so much of your time asleep. Especially if you're Nathaniel. I have taken to staying up late nights so that I can take a nap with him during the day, which I think he likes. Otherwise he is teaching me a great many things and we are learning about history, which I have missed a terrible lot of. (A whole world war with great bombs, Diary! The muggles are terrfying.) I am also back on maths and what he calls social studies but goodness there are so many countries and politics don't seem to make much sense these days at all. It's all muggle stuff anyway, I don't see why I should have to care unless they look like they're going to throw bombs some more, which everyone seems afraid to do.
I have been watching a lot of television also, the news and other programmes, especially with Hippolyta who I am calling Aunt now as she is so dear. I am still not entirely sure about this Thunder fellow but he is handsome, Diary.
We've had no word from Mr. Snape. Aunt Hippolyta gets wizard newspapers thanks to Ms. Nadezhda living there, but...well, I hardly know which parts to read because who knows who he's fighting now. The dark beasts seem to be on the move, and everyone expects a battle at Hogwarts. A lot of the news is speculation over some Harry Potter boy, who apparently survived the killing curse and rumors say he has to kill You-Know-Who (which is what they call the dark wizard Mr. Snape works(ed) for) but he's a loose canon and everyone's in a panic. It's all chaos, Diary and he's out there in the middle of it with no friends. Perhaps that Malfoy, but no one other than Mr. Snape seems to trust him at all.
The man is insane, Diary, that's all there is to it. If Nathaniel weren't so perfectly miserable, I don't know that I'd wish very hard for him to come home.
In other news, Ramon has been humanized also, diary, which is...alarming. He doesn't seem to remember me. I want to ask him about the game-piece, but...I do not think it would be a kindness, even if he promised his lady-friend he would remember her. I am not sure what I think of that Anna, but let us not speak ill of the dead as we are not one of them any longer.
Mostly I want things back the way they were. Even with Mr. Snape. I wonder if we might find a next-door sort of dimension where my house was just as I left it...or not entirely burnt, even?
In any case, I must go back to long division. Lee showed me a little muggle device that adds everything up instantly, so why anyone has to learn this stuff anymore I'm sure I don't know, but I don't want to fight too hard or Nathaniel gets upset.
Your faithful,
Madeline
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, September 16th, 2005
| |
9:43 am
|
Dear Diary,
It has been very eventful lately, again. You remember, of course, the young zombie I met at the necksus, Mr. Salazar, who I had mentioned seemed very sad? Well, he has been here at the house. I invited him when he came into the necksus in a state of utter shock and covered with gore, and I hadn't seen anything so awful since Darius stumbled home after the big fight in Knocturn Alley where he was jumped by brigands, only Ramon was worse. Ramon - that's Mr. Salazar, of course - had to do something very terrible, because a woman who he loved was very sick and posessed and he had to kill her. Mr. Snape said that it was the bravest and strongest thing someone could do, but I think it is perfectly terrible, though I have seen and heard of things that I would think a person would want to be killed rather than have happen to them, so it was likely something like that. It is clear that Ramon would not have done it if he didn't have to.
He is fairly terrible himself. Not like Mr. Snape who is beastly inside and ugly out. Ramon - it is too strange to write his name so familiarly, especially after all I have seen - Mr. Salazar is not normal-looking without but is fairly pleasant despite it, but there is something sick in him. He calls it "la Plaga" and it is a parasite and makes him a zombie. He says that it is a good thing and it lets him be connected with everyone else who has a plaga so they're like a big family and always peaceful, but it also is a big tentacle with poison and doesn't let him sleep and it lets him be controlled by Lord Saddler, who is his master and sounds like a dark wizard.
Lord Saddler apparently wants to enslave or infect all humans, who must be muggles because who could enslave wizards, I ask you. Apparently the humans made a big mess of the world Ramon is in, which sounds like an awful place, and he thinks that it will make everything peaceful if Lord Saddler wins. But he is also terrified of Lord Saddler because he will not approve of Ramon's loving a human, even if he killed her, and will think Ramon is weak and might hurt him, which is a terrible thing because Ramon is cleary very loyal and strong, but Mr. Snape and Mr. Vex think Lord Saddler is mad and evil and I'm not really sure who to believe. (Mr. Vex is Ramon's friend who came with him to comfort him and I'm glad he did. He sniped at Mr. Snape and I like him a great deal, and he is kind to Ramon even though Ramon is frightening because Mr. Vex is his friend.)
I am back to calling him Ramon. I cannot help it, diary, he is a dear boy even if he is frightening and I feel so sorry that he was abandoned and so lonely that Lord Saddler is his only friend. Or was, before he met Mr. Vex and me. I think it should not have happened, if he was a Prince and Lord Saddler had come to my house.
I made a big promise to Mr. Snape to be an obedient girl and show him all my secrets (though I will not mention you, diary, so perhaps he will forget about you) so that he would help Ramon even though he didn't like him or the sound of Lord Saddler. It will be hard, but Nadezhda and Nathaniel both seem so devoted to him that there must be something good. Nathaniel is such a gentle lamb, but Nadezhda can be quite fierce as well as gentle, even if she could stand up for herself more. Mr. Snape has been fair, also. I shall do my best.
I feel very old sometimes. Ramon made me think about it. I am glad that I died so young, and did not already have a lot of weight on my mind. I shouldn't like to be melancholy.
Your faithful,
Madeline
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, September 1st, 2005
| |
12:23 pm
|
|
| Saturday, August 27th, 2005
| |
10:44 pm
|
Dear Diary,
I have big news for you today, diary. Mr. Snape and Ms. Nadezhda are getting married. They are getting all sorts of presents, but apparently one of Ms. Nadezhda's friends disapproves quite strongly. I cannot blame her, diary. If I had a lady friend, I would not want her to marry Mr. Snape either.
Nathaniel has had a change for the better as well. He is more confident, and sometimes he smiles in a way that is very distracting. If anyone should get married it is him because he is such a fine figure of a man and so dear in temperament. Lee is quite better, also, which is good.
I spoke with the angel again, diary, whose name is Uriel, and is doing much better now that he has his memories back, I think. I asked him something that had been worrying me a great deal, which is what will happen to me if the house is destroyed. He was a great comfort and said that I would go to heaven, which I would very much like to do someday. He was apparently friends with the person that he was guarding who escaped, and was an agent in that escape and may be in trouble for it now. Also, heaven seems to work much differently than I had heard. I don't know if angels are allowed to decide if an imprisonment is wrong or not, because I thought that was God's perogative, but then why have angels who can think? I hope he is not cast out for it.
Also, I saw Mr. Salazar in the Nexus. He seemed very unhappy about something, but I cannot really help him. I cannot help but worry, though, because he is all alone in his house, except for his servants and servants are not proper company. Except for Nathaniel, who is a strange sort of servant anyway.
Your faithful,
Madeline
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
| |
5:26 pm
|
1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you. Not that I've got much of a wide range to choose from.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in. Except that I do not know what that is, so I will tell you what sort of flower you remind me of.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. Unless you already have.
|
|
(17 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
4:26 pm
|
Dear Diary,
Well, Lee is back, but she has had something done to her by a bad man, and is to be confined to her room. She does seem much more savage, but I think that she feels very bad about it afterwards. It is difficult, and I have tried to make her time more bearable, but I cannot really do much. I heard the term "vampire" mentioned, but I don't think Mr. Snape would let a vampire into this house, or at least I certainly hope not. He is very careful when it comes to his own safety.
Speaking of Mr. Snape, it seems that he and Ms. Nadezhda have begun having relations. I do not know what a lady like that sees in him, but he does seem very devoted to her so perhaps he is not without hope. He told me that the three of us should have a talk soon, but wouldn't say about what. One good thing about it all is that he is in a much better mood most of the time, and even told me he liked my dress. I rather wish I'd died wearing the little muslin one, which I think was much prettier, but it was a kind gesture, even if he didn't really pay attention afterwards.
Nathaniel is very sweet, but strange. I don't think he knows what to do with anyone in the house. Mr. Snape is talking to him more, which he seems to like. I do not like to write gossip and speculation, you know that diary, but I think Nathaniel may be a bit queer for Mr. Snape, which I cannot understand at all when he has a much more lovely lady friend and Mr. Snape is so ugly. Mr. Snape only has eyes for Ms. Nadezhda, though. It is a regular three-volume novel, diary! But I should not write such unkindesses about my dear friend. I still like Nathaniel the best out of everyone, and I think he just needs to have more pleasant people in his life and he will learn more about kindness.
The strange thing in the attic still eludes me. I should be more concerned about it, but I confess that I've found Miss Lee much more distracting.
Your faithful,
Madeline
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
| |
11:26 am
|
Dear Diary,
Mr. Snape is gone, which I like very well, but so is Lee and I think Nathaniel is very lonely. I try to talk to him but it doesn't help much. Mr. Snape left him a note with magic that his friends want to see him. I very nearly tore it up because then I will be alone for truly, but he seems so sad that if he has friends I think it would be good for him to visit. No one seems to visit him, aside from Ms. Lee and I think she may live here now and it's simply not been mentioned.
Which is rediculous, really because if someone moves into a home they should have a party, and I haven't had a party in a thousand years, so long I don't even remember where the good linens are.
On a pleasanter note, I have met two polite young boys, one of whom is a kind of golem called an androyd and one of whom is a kind of inferni called a zombie. The androyd boy is timid but I've never met one before and he's certainly better than a muggle. The zombie boy was very interesting indeed but I think he might be evil. There seem to be a lot of evil people on the Neksus, who may actually be very nice, aside from being zombies or devils.
Oh, that reminds me. I know who Mr. Halberd is now. I don't know how I feel about it, but I think he's very lonely and means no harm and I will try to be his friend if I can. He keeps talking about my family, which makes me curious, but there hasn't been a second to talk about it. There was an angel on the Neksus who was a very sad sort of person and had forgotten who he was. That must be very difficult, especially since angels all have important jobs to do, and it would be awful if something like that happened to me and I forgot all about my house and wandered off. I would surely fade away to nothing.
I should ask Mr. Halberd what happens to ghosts who fade away.
I like Paladin very much. He is getting quite good at jumping, and I may go find some puffskeins to keep him company. They will make the oddest sheep!
Your faithful,
Madeline
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
9:04 am - OOC
|
|
| Monday, August 15th, 2005
| |
10:57 am
|
Dear Diary,
It has been a most eventful time recently. I received a visit from Mr. Halberd, whom I mentioned to you. At first things were wonderful, as he is very pleasant and brought me the dearest little horse whom I have named Paladin and is just like a real horse only small enough to fit in Mother’s purse. Mr. Snape took an immediate dislike to him, but then he trusts no one and has no friends surely.
Then things went very badly, diary, and I confess that it was all my fault and I feel terribly about it. You see, when I met Mr. Halberd, there was something about him that tickled my memory (there still is, though I have lost much of my initial curiosity, as you will soon see) and I finally decided he reminded me of Uncle Silvanus. I know I don’t have to remind you of what he was like, though Mr. Halberd is nicer than Uncle, but there is still something about him, “under the surface” as cousin Elsie used to say. So I promised to show Mr. Halberd a secret, and of course the secret was Billy. I had hoped that Mr. Halberd would be able to do something with Billy, which he did, but I had also thought that Mr. Halberd was a good wizard but I think he is something different altogether and I don’t think it was a good idea what I did after all. Billy is gone, which is good except I don’t know to where, and there is still quite an impression of him left behind in that mirror, and I do not believe anyone should go into that room anymore.
He gave Mr. Snape quite a scare also, but Mr. Snape would not back down from him even though Mr. Halberd could probably have turned him into a slug. Then Mr. Halberd left, but he said that his name was something different which I don’t think I heard correctly but sounded strange. I think he was a demon, diary, but he was the most well-behaved demon I ever heard of, and didn’t have horns or smell bad or any of it like there is in the books. I think I should like to speak with him again, because I have not yet made up my mind and he did give me a fine present and I want to know what happened with Billy. If he is gone to hell I imagine he has many things to say to my Uncle.
Mr. Snape and I had a long talk after Mr. Halberd left. He is still bossy and terrible, but he explained that we both want to protect the house and keep it safe, and to protect Nathaniel who is timid. That is certainly true, as he certainly winces a lot as if he expects to be hit, though I have never seen Mr. Snape raise a hand to him but who knows what happens when I’m not looking. The two of them confuse me a great deal. In any case, I promised to check with Mr. Snape before I let people come into the house, especially if they are from that strange door in the broom shed which Mr. Snape explained led to a Neksus which means a place where all the places that ever were anywhere come together. He also told me to be very careful going there, but I am a ghost and I don’t think any of them could hurt me, though he said something about there being more in heaven and earth, which I think is Shakespeare and I wish he would just speak plainly.
He also talked some about who he was, I guess to get my trust. All I know is that he is still a wicked bad man, even if he is trying to fight a war, because he seems to be fighting it all wrong. When people fight in wars they go onto the side that they think is the good side and fight against the bad side and everybody lines up and throws hexes. I could not tell you what Mr. Snape is doing, but it surely isn’t that. He says that he will be summoned away often and that is fine with me because it is much more cheerful when he is gone, and I think I could take care of Nathaniel just fine without him.
Until next time, I am your faithful
Madeline
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, August 13th, 2005
| |
1:30 pm
|
Dear Diary,
My apologies that I have not written in so very long. It seems that we were both under enchantment and have been in a trunk for some hundred years. I still do not know why dear Eddie would do such a thing, but I cannot imagine it went well, whatever it was, because he never returned for me. Instead we must deal with that awful half-blood, Mr. Snape. I am so very sorry that you were picked up and read by such a horrid person, but be assured that I have found a much better place to hide you which he shall never be able to find.
Aside from his repulsive presence, which is quite bad enough to send an thousand soldiers marching to take him away to Azkaban forever, I am well pleased with the arrangement in the house just now. There is a very kind man, Nathaniel, who is very handsome and of the sweetest nature who is Mr. Snape's servant. I feel so sorry for the poor boy that he must wait upon that hated person, and will have to find a much more pleasant man to be master of my house so that both Nathaniel and I will have a better life. Nathaniel has a lady-friend named Lee, who has strange eyes. I do not like them, they are not at all ladylike, but I think she is afraid of me so it doesn't matter what she looks like she will do what I say and that is all right. There was a woman with the strangest ugly hair, like the gorgon Medusa, here yesterday, who seems to know Mr. Snape and defended him so she must be just as horrible, and I will not let her back in the house. She is terrible when she yells, I do not like her.
The house looks lovely, diary. There is still a lot of cleaning to do, and the outside is a terror to behold, but that will keep the neighbor boys away, and Nathaniel and Lee are good cleaners. Nathaniel seems to get very hot when he cleans, perhaps because he is so energetic, and he takes off his shirt and walks around naked like that, which is shocking but I rather like it. Mr. Snape doesn't and he makes Nathaniel put his shirt back on, but what business is it of his how Nathaniel goes about his business when he does such a good job? That Mr. Snape would not know how to have fun if a hundred fairy clowns and acrobats appeared and performed a great circus for him.
There is a new door, which I should have mentioned right away but Mr. Snape makes me so angry I forgot. It is outside in the broom shed, which now has a tree in it and not brooms, which I think goes against its purpose. The door goes to the strangest place, which is like many places all in one and is filled with the wildest assortment of people. I don't like some of them but there was a nice talking cat who was more magic than a kneezle and brougth me a lovely doll whom I have named Elizabeth. I will make Nathaniel clean my old room so that I can put her there and she won't get dirty or eaten by mice. (We have two cats now, diary, which are too small to be much use but shall grow up and protect my dolls.)
I also met a nice gentleman, Mr. Halberd, who promised to come visit me. He reminds me greatly of someone, I cannot remember who just now but it will come to me I'm sure. Probably when he visits. I am going to show bad Billy to him because he said he knew everyone's name in the whole world and I want to show him that I know lots of things too and Billy is a big secret.
Well that is more than enough for now, diary. I must be off. I am going to replace all of Mr. Snape's hair soap with ink and we'll see if he even notices a difference.
With love,
Madeline
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
madeline_prince's journal